Marriage Reflection Number 3/3 (Triggered by Jason-Moira Breakup)

My reflections and realizations about the news are endless. But I’ll sum them up into 3 and the last point is – PURSUE.

Of all the other points I wish to share, I’m choosing this because of what I saw in one of Jason’s post (which is now deleted) where he mentioned that Moira did not feel like he was pursuing her. I searched on Google what the word “pursue” means and here below is the answer:

This made me think deep. As a Christian, this is not strange. I always heard the line, “Pursue your wife.” which literally translates to “Chase your wife. Go after her.”

Again, I thought even deeper.

Why do my husband need to chase me?
Can I also pursue my husband?

This topic may even cause further debates and conflict (which I am not interested upon). Let me tell you what I think and what we experienced about this.

Pursuing is simply giving importance to your partner.
My husband doesn’t necessarily need to follow me when I walk out. He doesn’t have to hug me when I get mad. He doesn’t have to say sorry all the time. He can pursue me by doing little things like giving me a bathing towel when I forget one, opening up packets that are hard for me to crack up, fixing things around the house, dropping or picking me up from work, putting on the AC when I feel hot, ordering my favorite food when I feel down, throwing our trash out, making love, sharing with me how his day went or how he feels, listening to my complains over and over again – these all, my friends, are PURSUING! These are things that men do when they give importance to someone. They give their time, they exert efforts, they simply choose to do these things when they can choose not to. We cannot expect pursuing to be dramatic when men are typically practical and single-wired beings. Got me thinking why does my husband need to chase me when he already got me???

Pursuing can also be done by the wife.
If pursuing is giving someone your love, time, and affection, why can’t husbands deserve the line? Similarly, we give them the honor and importance by submitting to them, supporting their decisions, trusting their judgments, respecting them at home and in the public – it is not fun to have an UNDER or weak husband. Wives can also do little things like making things tidy, preparing nutritious meals, simple compliments, words of encouragement, even saying sorry. Men are simple, they don’t need dramas!

Pursuing can also mean giving space.
Contrary to the literal meaning of space, pursuing can also mean allowing the person to grow and be who he or she is. When we’re married for years, things become mundane, familiar, and predictable. It’s imperative to give your partner a venue where he can breathe fresh, whether you do it together or alone. Don’t think too much, this can happen in simple things. My husband enjoys browsing Tiktok funny videos which I really don’t find funny. He sends me these videos or shows them to me at bed time. Letting him browse is a form of giving him his space instead of dragging him into something that I want to do.

Give space by allowing your partner to explore things such as Yoga classes, Programming courses, shopping, brunch with girl friends, or night out with the guys. In as much as husband and wife are ONE, we are still individuals with different preferences and needs. Giving importance to the needs of your partner is pursuing in itself. By giving him/her a room to be him/herself, he/she bounces back with full tank, ready to give his/her love again.

I am so grateful to God for my husband and I wouldn’t want any other man besides him. I pray that we shall grow old together, live life full and long, in God’s most gracious love, grace, and glory!

Praying for steadfast and whole individuals as base of strong relationships and marriages. Praying for wisdom in the world full of knowledge. Praying for lasting marriages to build stable families and society. Praying for children who will grow in love, security, and assurance, not only from their parents, but from God who is the Creator of all.

God bless us all!

<Reflection 1 here>
<Reflection 2 here>

Published by MM in Dubai

MM in Dubai is a SPED teacher by profession. She is also a Content Writer and Blogger based in Dubai United Arab Emirates.

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